The Darkstar Chronicles
by Machiavelli's Pompadour
Summary: This is my magnum opus! A tale of adventure so thrilling and actionpacked you'll be on the edge of your seat as Mobius Land is turned upside down when some unexpected visitors drop in! Crossover, rated T for coarse language and adult themes. Please R&R!


Disclaimer: Okay so all the charries in here are copyright their respective owners except for Adonis who belongs to my friend. So no stealing!!! But seriously if I didn't put this disclaimer here I know that Sega And Square would be throwing their lawyers and AZN monies at me because I would totally claim their characters as mine, but I can't, so I won't. OOPS. Plus, my ideas are way better than theirs and everyone else's, so they better not ever even think of stealing!!

Okay, on to the ficcie!

Enjoy!!

---The Dark Star Chronicles---

By Machiavelli's Pompadour

CHAPTER ONE: A New Beginning

So, one day Adonis is having a concert when suddenly he sings a note so high that a portal opens that transports him and all his friends to Sonic's world.

And they all turn into a small variety of animals available in the Sonic universe, like a hedgehog, echidna, rodent, or awkward bird.

So they fall through the sky and shit and when they land, the cast of Final Fantasy 7 is already there because Cloud and Zack were making out too hard and got transported too.

I would self-indulgently describe them at length because good authors assume that their audience is a bunch of ignorant tools, but I won't because you know what the fuck they all look like, so cram it.

Then there's some drama.

Everyone's all "WTF??" of course and then they start fighting and especially Cloud and Adonis. And as they inch closer during the spat they suddenly start making out.

And Zack gets jealous and Sonic's like "LOL Hot".

And then they go to the mall.

And Sonic teaches them how to play DDR.

Meanwhile the evil Doctor Robotnik doesn't fucking like DDR so he makes a plan to turn Adonis into a robot and kidnaps him right now.

He will use Adonis' voice to open a portal so he can throw all the DDR machines in and hopefully Sonic too, and that asshole Antoine.

Oh wait, and then what happens?! Shit.

Cloud and Zack and Sonic and Shadow run really fucking fast.

Seriously.

And Cloud and Zack are doing the figure eight with their legs.

And they collect some rings too.

But Cloud and Zack don't have to collect rings because they already collected 99 tissues.

And it turns out Chaos Emeralds are like materia in Mobius Land. So Cloud shows Sonic all the fucking slots in his dumb clown shoes.

Robotnik doesn't have any materia slots because he equipped the mop by accident. OOPS.

So they're fucking running and equipping and shit and doing the figure eight, and they get to Robotnik's lair and Robotnik's almost gonna turn Adonis into a robot. And Adonis is, like, sad and some shit because his lover Cloud is doing the figure eight with Zack.

((((Author Comment: The figure eight is really an innuendo for sex here because there's no way you could have figured that out on your own.))))

But Sonic rescues him and jumps on Robotnik's machine that doesn't have any spikes in one spot so that Sonic can jump on it.

So Robotnik releases his secret weapon which is a Katamari that he's been using to roll up all the DDR machines, and now he's going to roll up Final Fantasy 7.

But everyone starts making out.

Shadow makes out with Adonis while Cloud is tonguing Sonic and Zack is dry humping Prince. And then Antoine jumps off a fucking cliff.

So everyone's making out so hard when suddenly their Chaos Materia starts glowing and they all go "WTF??", especially Robotnik who is just sitting there not rolling his Katamari, when suddenly a summon cloud opens up and a bunch of fucking pregnant Invader ZIM nagas fly through and have babies everywhere.

And somewhere in the universe Vin Diesel takes a shit and Robotnik explodes, and all the DDR machines are transported back, and then everyone becomes gothic and goes to a rave.

The End.

AUTHORS COMMENTS: Stay tuned for the next chapter that has some serious action and slash in it. Samus gets transported too, along with Batman, and Danny Phantom. So stick around because this story's not over yet!!

Thus ends The Dark Star Chronicles! I worked on this for 15 months and then 6 months so please show your respect for my efforts by leaving some R&R and possibly smooches. In fact, I'm such a great author that I know this will be the next copycat fad in fanficcies, so you can just start licking my ass with praise right now.

THANKS FOUR READING


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